The first thing I ever saw you in was Juno, in the December of 2007. At the time, I was less cynical than I am now, and I thought Juno was hilarious. I liked you! I dug the running shorts and the Tic Tacs and the hamburger phone. To my tender young heart, you were adorable. I had yet to realize that Paulie Bleeker was kind of a dick and that Juno suffers from what I term "Coldplay Syndrome": as exposure to X increases, then enjoyment of it decreases. Basically, I thought that both you and Juno were pretty awesome.
In the beginning of 2008, I started watching Arrested Development, which went on to become my favorite TV show of all time. As George Michael Bluth, you didn't really have to do too much. It worked, even though your Canadian accent was rather pronounced. I would have bought a frozen banana from you.
About a year ago, I started hearing things about Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, a movie that you starred in that was coming out in the fall. The premise of a couple meeting on a whirlwind, music-filled night out in NYC sounded reasonably appealing, so I decided to read the book that it was based on. I completely fell in love with the book and decided that there was no way that the movie could live up to it. Plus, the Nick in the book was nothing like you, considering that there were numerous references to his chest hair. I ended up not seeing the movie until this March, and sure enough, I thought that it would have been much better if it had starred people other than you and Kat Dennings. You had the range of a teaspoon.
I saw Superbad a year after everyone else had. It was very obvious that you were still George Michael and Paulie, just in a different outfit.
Most recently, I heard about Scott Pilgrim because of you starring in the adaptation that is currently being filmed. Similarly to Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, I was quite intrigued by the plot synopsis and decided to check out the series of comics that inspired the movie. I was immediately addicted to the comics and their fantastic sense of humor, but there was an unshakable feeling that you just weren't Scott, just like there was an unshakable feeling that you weren't Nick. You always play one-note quiet nice guys, and while Scott Pilgrim is a nice guy, there's definitely a manic energy to him that I've never seen in you. I hope Edgar Wright whips you into shape, because I don't want to be disappointed in this adaptation. You had better do a good job of making Mayonegg explode into piglets and bunnies.
I just picked up a copy of the novel Youth In Revolt, the soon-to-be-released adaptation of which you are also the star of. I can already tell now that I am going to read it, love it, and be pissed off because you're just not right for the character.
Sincerely,
Katie